Travel Article for Exhale Magazine

Originally posted in: http://gayfortlauderdaleinfo.com/humor/grindr/

If you’re up north and someone approaches you and asks you about grinders, how would you respond? Would you discuss sandwiches or a gay mobile dating app? If you chose the app, then you’re part of a growing number of gay men who is using your smart phone to literally reach out and touch (well maybe more than touching) someone.

With the advent of GPS and geo-locating, dating has once again been transformed. Back in the day (when the wheel was invented), you had to go to a bar or a club to meet someone. With the introduction of the Internet, dating became easy as shopping online. Profiles line up on your screen like merchandise neatly arranged on a shelf. You click what you like, send a message and just like that, instant dating. But you run into the risk that the guy you’re messaging isn’t what he purports to be. It turns out he’s more chunky than hunky. He’s using photos that are 20 years old or aren’t of him.

Now with the arrival of mobile dating, you don’t have to wait long to see what you’re getting yourself into. Using your phone’s GPS or GTS (gay tracking system), you can locate available men within a certain radius. Perhaps Hottie4u is twenty-five feet from you and instead of waiting for him to show up at your door to see if he lives up to his screen name, you can walk up to him and check out his hotness.

Fast and furious, courting nowadays consists of three letter word greetings like Sup or Hey. You learn more about someone through their Facebook page than by talking to them. Texting is the preferred method of communication. Everywhere you turn, new tracking apps are popping up faster than you can count. Online websites like Manhunt and Adam4adam have introduced their own mobile apps. From digital matchmaking to mobile tracking, dating is getting more and more advanced. Where do you find yourself? Are you on the mobile dating bandwagon? If not, get connected because if you don’t, you’ll find yourself on the sidelines and that’s not a good place to be in the dating world.

Why Do Dogs Do that?

As man’s best friends, dogs do some curious things and over time, we’ve come to accept them as normal behavior. But have you ever wondered why dogs exhibit some odd behaviors? Each month, this column will focus on a unique dog behavior. We’ll discuss the scientific answer that best explains why dogs do what they do.

So this month, why not start with the obvious? WHY DO DOGS SNIFF EACH OTHER’S BUTTS?

All these years, you probably thought they like to smell each other’s rears, but in fact, that’s not
the case at all. Every dog has a unique scent “signature” created by the secretions of its anal sacs, a pair of small, kidney-shaped structures on each side of the anus. This unique scent not only distinguishes one dog from another, it also reveals whether the dog’s sex.

In summary, sniffing a butt is how dogs identify and introduce themselves to one another. A dog smelling another dog’s behind is basically saying, “Hello, who are you? Have we met before?” This shows how important the sense of smell is to dogs. They collect information from each other as well as from the world. So the next time, your dog is “meeting” another dog, just realize that sniffing butt is acceptable in doggie world!

This summer, have you and your pooch exercise enough?  If the answer is no, it’s not too late.  Take advantage of the month and half left of summer weather and allow your dog to maximize all the great outdoor activities.  He or she will benefit from all the extracurricular activity. Remember, an active dog is a healthy dog.

One of the best outdoor activities for your dog is swimming.  Swimming burns calories, tones muscles, and helps increase your dog’s metabolism. For obese dogs or ones who suffer from arthritis or dysplasia, a brisk dog paddle provides painless exercise because the activity is non-weight bearing.  Swimming increases heart rate and blood flow improving lung capacity as well as muscle strength. With increased energy, your dog will be healthier and happier.

When it comes to swimming, there are some very important procedures to follow.  Always keep an eye on your dog and assist him or her if needed. Be able to help or guide your dog into and out of the pool safely. If the size or weight of your pooch poses a problem, ask for assistance. And last but not least, make sure your veterinarian approves swimming is a safe activity for your dog.

So make the dog days of summer truly dog days. Go swimming with your best bud and see who can dog paddle the best.  We bet you can give him or her a run for their money.

http://www.centralbarkusa.com/latest-news/summer-time-is-swim-and-exercise-time-for-your-pooch

http://www.floridagayresort.com/index.php/i-see-naked-people/

I see naked people.

If you do, then either you’re at Haulover Beach or the Cabanas Guesthouse in Wilton Manors.

There’s a line from My Chauffeur, an old 80’s movie that goes like this, “If I see something I haven’t seen before, I’ll throw a rock at it.”  Good thing there are few rocks at either places.  If you’re uninhibited and don’t mind tanning your nether regions, this is your beach to commune intimately with Mother Nature or your resort to let it all hang freely.

So say you made it to the beach or lounging by the Cabanas’ pool and you’re taking in the rays as well as the scenery when something or somebody catches your eye.  What do you do?  It’s bound to happen, after all, let’s be honest, people visit clothing-optional places because they want to see people comfortably being naked and to see something pleasing.  But if you’re new to the world of naturists, here’s some helpful advice on how to gawk without being an obvious gawker:

Sunglasses:  If you go to any clothing-optional place, these are a must have.  Consider sunglasses camouflage for your eyes.  Perhaps you’re looking at the beautiful waves or maybe you’re admiring the beautiful Cabanas landscape or better yet you can’t stop staring at the hunk laying in front of you in all his glory. This is where your glasses come in handy.  If you act casual, no one will be the wiser to what you’re actually staring at.  Sure people may have an idea, but with your gaze hidden behind your glasses, you’re free to stare away.

Books and Magazines:  Prop up a magazine or book and while you’re “reading,” you can steal glances.  Position the book or magazine where your interest lie, then intermittently look up.  This way you won’t look like your blatantly staring but just taking a break from your reading.

Cell Phone:  Ok, disclaimer here:  It’s extremely rude to take photos without the subject’s consent, so please be respectful of people’s privacy.  With that being said, you can use your cell phone camera like a telescope.  This may take some practice, but you can pretend to be texting or surfing the Internet, while strategically positioning the phone so your camera focuses on target.  Use your camera’s zoom, to get even a better view.

Friends:  Ask your friends to sit or lie down in the direction of your interest.  This way while you’re conversing and laughing it up, you can also admire the beauty from far away.  When you’ve seen enough, you can return the favor for your friend.

These are just some suggestions.  If you are discreet and not rude, most people don’t mind the visual adulation.  Just remember, as you’re staring at other people, they are staring at you too.  Being clothing-optional, you don’t have to go all centerfold naked, but why not give people something to stare at?  Plus think about all the money you’ll save, after all, birthday suits don’t cost you a dime.

Originally published in: http://gayfortlauderdaleinfo.com/business/smoked-out-not-in-wilton-manors/

Smoked Out?

Profiling is something that most police departments get accused of doing. It’s a big no no but in the gay community, profiling is a way of life. It seems almost every gay man has an adult profile. Gay men all over South Florida are posting profiles in search of long term relationships, quick hook ups and/or casual friendships. So how does your profile stand out? Got more messages than you can handle or are you barely getting a response? If you’re not getting the attention you deserve, try these tips:

1. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Find the profiles that you like and compare your profile to theirs. What is similar and what is different? Don’t plagiarize but use their profiles as a template to mold yours.
2. Photos speak a thousand words.   By all means, have at least one photo, preferably a face photo.  Nothing elicits a negative response than a profile with no photos. Can you imagine a book with no cover? You may be a good read but without something to catch the viewer eyes, very few will care. With that in mind, rotate new photos. Imagine your profile as a storefront. Want people to buy what you’re selling? Then make your window display interesting.
3. Choose what’s behind door #3. Some guys show everything up front. Not that there is anything wrong with that but when you go to the movies, do filmmakers show you the ending first? No. They build up the suspense and anticipation to hook you in. Shouldn’t you do the same?  Keep some photos locked, private or hidden. After all, people are more intrigued about what they can’t see rather then what they can.
4. The N word…Nudity. So a lot of guys put their junk out for everyone to see. Some even spread ‘em like a butterflied chicken breast. There’s that old saying, “Sex Sells,” but in fact, it isn’t sex but sensuality. The most provocative pictures in the world aren’t flagrant displays of one’s engorged member but of the lips, the eyes, the smile and the body silhouette. Think of a black and white photo of James Dean peering up with dreamy eyes…yea you the point.
5. Pass the magnifying glass please. If you need a magnifying glass to view your…photos, it’s time to update your profile. No one wants to see postage size photos. If you have photos that small, it sends the message that you’re hiding something or that you’re antiquated. If gentlemen in their 70’s can post full size pictures, so can you.
6. Laughter is a true aphrodisiac. It’s true, funny guys are attractive. Humor is one of the most sought after quality among daters. Make your profile jovial, light and upbeat. Don’t publish a long list of wants, preferences, likes and what nots. A laundry list like that comes off as boring and unimaginative.

While this list is not all-inclusive, it should help garner some attention. But the main key is to be original and above everything else, be yourself.

Originally posted in: http://gayfortlauderdaleinfo.com/gay-fort-lauderdale/a-tip-on-tipping/

Tipping is a big deal and no, we’re not talking about Midwesterners and sleeping cows. We’re talking about tipping service personnel. As a major tourist destination, South Florida receives a steady current of international visitors who are unfamiliar with the proper etiquette of tipping. It’s the reason why many South Floridian restaurants automatically include gratuity in the bill, which can confuse tourists coming from out of state. Should tipping exceed the amount suggested? What if the service wasn’t comparable to the allocated tip? And in the worst case scenario, what if you don’t want to leave a tip?

While it’s true that customer ratings have the biggest effect on tip amount, wait staff who kneel at the table receives significantly higher tips than those who don’t. Research also shows that waitresses who also add a “smiley” face to their bills see their tips increase about 5%, while waiters who do the same watch theirs decline by 3%. Writing “thank you” on the bill can boost the size of a tip up 2%. Older folks tip more than younger and women tip more than men.  While some of this information may seem trivial, to the many who work in the service industry, any insight into increasing their tips is invaluable.

So to get back to tipping or the proper way to tip, the acceptable tip for bartenders and food/cocktail servers is 15 to 20 percent of the total bill. If gratuity is already assessed, then it’s your discretion to add more. The American waiter or waitress averages an hourly wage of $4.38. Their European counterparts, however, make considerably more per hour, hence the reason why tips are not necessary. Because it’s culturally ingrained, many Europeans don’t leave a tip. That’s not the case in South Florida where many depend on tips to supplement their hourly wage. So before you decide to stiff a waiter, just remember that everybody has an off day. If you were judged on an isolated incident, would that be representative of your overall work performance? Probably not. Give your waiter the benefit of the doubt and tip. Plus, it would be good karma for you anyways.

Most people associate tipping with restaurant staff, but it’s also important to other service oriented professions like valets, baristas, hair stylists and massage therapists. Here’s a quick tip list:

Barista – $1
Car detailer – 15 percent
Car washer – $2-3 for a car; $3-5 for an SUV or truck
Hair Stylist or Color Specialist – 10-20 percent
Manicurist, Facialist or Aesthetician – 15 percent
Massage therapist- 20 percent
Pet groomer – 15 percent
Tattoo or piercing artist – 10-20 percent

So now you know tipping isn’t just for cows. In the end, tipping a few dollars means a great deal to someone in the service industry at a minimal cost to you. Tip well and you will be rewarded.

Originally posted in: http://www.highpointtreatment.com/blog/scared-of-being-sober-youre-not-alone.html

Peanut butter and jelly, socks and shoes, coffee and doughnuts.

There are some things that when you mention them, they immediately evoke a pairing. When people mention gays and lesbians, creativity and diversity usually come to mind. But lately, there seems to be darker pairing that is slowly tainting the GLBT community: substance abuse.

Substance abuse, in simple terms, is a coping strategy. People use alcohol, drugs or other substances to help them deal with painful, stressful or debilitating situations. Many minorities suffer great mental anguish when coping with their second-class status, but with the GLBT community, attacks and pressures come from all different fronts. Growing up, most youth are told and taught that heterosexuality is the norm, that families should have a mommy and a daddy. Religious teachings condemn homosexuality as an abomination. Politicians and lawmakers stand on their soapboxes and vilify what they deem as the homosexual agenda. Schools do little to curb gay and lesbian bullying. With every aspect of society telling you that being gay and lesbian is wrong or immoral, it is hard to not internalize those feelings. Soon a discordant state exists where your true nature conflicts with your outward persona. In your isolated state, you can’t talk to anyone, you don’t know anyone who’s openly gay or lesbian, you have no available resources. Your only source of comfort is to take a swig of alcohol, swallow a pill or smoke drugs. Numbness is what you strive for and these substances deliver a quick injection of “I don’t care.”

But let’s say you manage to come out and accept your sexuality. You’re instantly bombarded by a culture that’s dominated by socializing in bars or clubs. Parties are sponsored by major alcohol companies, glossy cigarette ads fill magazines and drugs are exchanged as fast as handshakes. The thought of feeling left out is more than you can bear so you partake in the festivities. It’s a culture of excess and you’re right in the thick of it. Soon you become hostage to the drink or the drugs and what turned out to be social partying has now become hardcore.

It’s not surprising that national statistics show that alcoholism and drug abuse affect 20 to 30% of the homosexual population (Ziebold & Mongeon, 1982, Rofes, 1983). The consequences of these abuses have resulted in a steady rise in the number of arrests for Driving Under the Influence, Possession and other alcohol or drug related crimes. Substance abusers fail to understand that their abuse have far-reaching effects – ruining lives, draining finances and even worse, jail or prison time.

Seeking help starts with an admission of a problem and since the origins of these abuses stem from denial, it’s hard for abusers to admit they have a problem. Ask yourself the following questions to indicate the possibility of a problem:

Do people comment often on how much you drink or use drugs?
Do you drink or use drugs even when you are alone?
Do you often have black out periods?
Does drinking interfere with friendships, school or work?
Have you ever been arrested as a result of drinking or using drugs?
Have you ever wondered whether you have a drinking or drug problem?

If your answer is yes to more than one of the questions, seek help. Through counseling, peer-to-peer support and group therapy, The Pride Institute can help you resolve the root cause of your substance abuse. We can show you new and more effective coping strategies. We know that facing a life free of alcohol and drugs is daunting to some, but The Pride Institute wants you to know that you are not alone. You’ll get the one thing you been lacking all your life…unconditional love and support. Contact The Pride Institute today and start your sober life now.